Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Do Indian guys like African girls?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Which country do you recommend for me to live in, England, the USA, Italy, Spanish, or Austria?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why is Meghan Markle's Hollywood presence fading despite her royal status and Netflix deal?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why do I want to be caught sucking dick by my wife?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Do humans know everything they need to know?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Do all Koreans look like K-pop idols?

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

What are the primary benefits of using infrared sauna blankets?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have a reading level above third grade

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity